Summer Update

Our first week of us all being home together and so far we have survived ( except for Coco who has almost not survived) Speaking of Coco, do you have ANY idea how dificult it is to give a rat antibotics? It is very VERY hard. The vet told us Coco would like it since it was "meat flavored" which I am sure you can imagine smells delicious, especially all over my hands which is where it ends up after Coco spits it all out. I am not sure what other people feed their rats, but Coco is a strict vegetarian. I guess there isn't a big market for sunflower seed flavored antibotics. Coco is making a wonderful recovery, so far the socket hasn't become infected or started to ooze. To all of you who asked, no Coco isn't wearing a cone ( smartasses) because rodents eat with their hands and I guess that means no cone. And no we won't be making a patch for him to wear and no we will not be renaming him all of those terrible names you have been coming up with you mean sick bastards.

The weather has been nice and we've been swimming alot. Today D is at a Pump It Up birthday party and after that we are going to eat and hit the pool with Bobi and Ci. My girlfriend Amy stopped by the pool yesterday and told me all about this wonderful organic delivery that delivers ( thanks Amy !! ) . So today I placed my first order at Noris Dairy . In addition to milk, I bought butter and cheese. I can't wait for our first yummy deivery.

I started weight watchers last week as I am simply too large for my own comfort. I lost 3.6 pounds on my 1st weigh in. I am very happy with that amount and it has inspired me to stick with it.

OK, off to the pool

and what his eye looks like now :-( 

what coco's eye is supposed to look like 

Probably one of the worst most disgusting things to ever happen to me

Today, I was upstairs in the bathroom when my on summer break children start screaming. And.I.Mean.SCREAMING. Screaming the scream that mothers everywhere recognize as the "holy shit this is going to be really something awful " scream.

They burst into the bathroom screaming that Coco, D's pet rat, is dying. Now I have seen Coco earlier in the day, and I know that she is quite healthy and doing just fine so whatever my silly little children are so upset about can be quite easily fixed.



This is not so.







This is because earlier in the day when I saw Coco, Coco had two eyes. That's right, you heard me ( read me ) right. He had two GOD DAMNED eyes this morning but now only has ONE in his head and one hanging outside of his poor little mouse head. There is an awful amount of blood and he's looking around (well, TRYING to look around) like "hey what's all the commotion? Why all the screaming? What's this? Oh shit, it's my fucking EYE hanging out the socket"

Motherfuckshitgoddamnhellpissfuckshitfuckshitfuckshit


The kids are HYSTERICAL, especially since Jack just lost Ben I thought no, no, no, no. Not again. They were both absolutely hysterical and as I looked at Coco;s eye hanging there things got tingley and I thought "OMG I am about to faint. Wait no I am not, I remember this feeling, this is my old familiar friend panic attack dropping by to say hi" I get the kids out of the bathroom and lock the door. I sit down on the bathtub ( so I don't crack my head when I fall) and try to breathe deep. Coco pokes his head out of the sink and looks at me and all I can think is shit shit shit shit shit shit shit.

I go downstairs and get a box out of recycling, put a towel in it and place coco and his hanging eye in there. I seriously think I was shock at that point because I got really, really calm. I ask the kids how the FUCK ( just kidding) did this happen and both of them have "no idea" . They were playing with Coco and they were driving him around in a FisherPrice car. It "might have happened" when dagny tried to pry him out of the car. I go downstairs and call b, explain the situation and tell to get the fuck home NOW and he tells me to kill the rat and be done with it. Right , THAT'S what I'll do. I start calling vets to see if they take "exotics", most don't. I find one that does and Jack, Dagny, and coco the blinded rat wrapped securely in a corn dog box and I head off to the vet.

They are expecting me and my corndog box so when I arrive they whisk Coco away. After a quick exam the vet comes with our report and options. The good news is, he is amazed at how long we've had coco, how healthy he is and what fine condition we've kept him. Most rats don't last long ( see Ben story). Coco's only real chance is to remove the eye and sew it closed. I ask how much something like that would cost and he quotes me $250. I say "Kind veterinarian man, there is simply no way I am paying $250 for a $6 rat" he asks how much I could pay and I tell him $100 ( I've already paid $42.17 for the office visit and I thought what's another $58) He tells me fine, he will do it for $100 and that includes anesthesia, the procedure, and the follow up antibiotics. I am completely stunned. I say ok and he tells me they will call me when coco is ready.


So I am sitting here waiting for the vet;s office to call so I can go pick up Coco, the $106 one eyed rat. Both my kids are so fucking grounded.

Princess Dagny 

Jack decided to give everyone new hairstyles tonight...here he is working on grandma 

grandma's after 

mommy's after ( wish there wa a before, but no one takes pix of mommy)  

Grandpa's before 

Grandpa's after !! 

Now 8. 6 months after my daughter's birth, I am so thankful we named her Dagny. I am glad Brian fought hard for the name and won. I am glad she's not an Emma, or an Isabel or a Hannah. Those names are perfectly fine but there are 10 of them per grade. There are no other Dagny's. How many people do you know just one of ? Think about it.

Googlism for Dagny

dagny

dagny is a name i know
dagny is vice
dagny is one of those liberated wife who is helping to pay the bills by sucking off her husband
dagny is any better than before?
dagny is more mature
dagny is connected to it through the aura of her mother
dagny is mad
dagny is such a phenomenal player and sometimes i am amazed at how well maren and her play together
dagny is so focused on work and achievement that it is in
dagny is taken aback by his manner and is puzzled when he gives her the cold shoulder throughout the evening
dagny is so strongly focused on work and achievement
dagny is working today so i am running around like a maniac and driving myself nuts with all of the stuff i am sure we are forgeting
dagny is doomed to a life of
dagny is 6 months old
dagny is beautiful and will have a wonderful loving family and a story to remember
dagny is a bisexual
dagny is then presented with a decision she shouldn’t had to have made in the first place
dagny is incredibly technical
dagny is happy that rearden has escaped
dagny is now john galt's lover
dagny is the clueless one
dagny is intolerant of inefficiency—she knows orren boyle is free to be
dagny is a model of the spirit and practice of capitalism
dagny is an old scandinavian name
dagny is one of the hottest facial loving babes on the net
dagny is trusted by
dagny is in charge of operating the railroad
dagny is herself a stereotype
dagny is there to rescue him
dagny is the vice
dagny is a native californian and grew up around the central california coast
dagny is confused and devastated by the inexplicable conclusion to their love; moreover
dagny is the internet's kinkiest amateur
dagny is available for modeling in the indianapolis area
dagny is back
dagny is somewhat immune to this syndrome
dagny is a very talented player and she is very young
dagny is studying peace and conflict studies in sydney
dagny is writing her memoirs and in it
dagny is a well equipped vagabond 47 and represents a great value on the liveaboard/world cruiser market
dagny is not quite the
dagny is presently trapped are detailed at the top
dagny is truly a romantic at heart
dagny is the last hero
dagny is not a big fan of cold weather and she seems to be most comfortable in the horizontal position
dagny is survived by her daughter and son
dagny is swedish and norwegian champion
dagny is henceforth unrequited
dagny is not something that an objectivist ought to emmulate in any way
dagny is vice president of in
dagny is absolutely right
dagny is consistent
dagny is lvda’s legislation chair
dagny is replaced by one of gates' lawyers
dagny is wonderful
dagny is getting ready to kick off her facial tour
dagny is now "blogging" in icelandic and raggi also
dagny is building a new line with the help of her lover
dagny is directly confronted with the principle of non
dagny is coming right
dagny is still one of the few true cum
dagny is a very natural girl
dagny is enjoying a beutiful swedish summerday at the terrace
dagny is watching the stars with john galt
dagny is considered to be part of the eda curved star line
dagny is different from most people
dagny is single
dagny is not afraid to offend
dagny is correct to stay at taggart transcontinental as long as she possibly can
dagny is a new lady & adoreable too
dagny is a pretty powerful female character
dagny is an extensible framework for creating irc bots
dagny is involved in a plane crash in the hidden utopian valley created by the novel's hero
dagny is one of the last people to join because she is so convinced that she can save the world
dagny is a lady
dagny is so beautiful
dagny is portrayed as an extraordinarily successful builder
dagny is inhumanely cold to jeff allen
dagny is not dead for a month
dagny is on a train in colorado
dagny is building a path
dagny is feeling a bit sad
dagny is a very ambitious woman
dagny is supposed to be the heroine

The Steel Drum Band in our backyard

In our back yard there used to be a field. Progress has taken over and now the field behind in our backyard is The Street of More Traffic on Our Street The houses are amazing and there are 25 more being built. We have had a month of partying celebrating the S.O.M.T.O.O.S but tonight's was wonderful. There has been a steel drum playing all night in the new park which lies in the middle of the development. My mom took the kids to the pool tonight and they swam with their friends for 2 hours while their parents went out and had some cocktails. We were home in time to tuck them into their beds where they are being serenaded to sleep by a most excellent band playing right off their balcony.

gotta love summer

For the first two hours they had they entire place to themselves 

A mother gets no privacy. She can't even take a bath alone. 

Top 10 things mommy and daddy love about dagny

10. she's a good tree climber ( daddy)

9. she takes good care of her pets

8. she gets along with everybody ( daddy)

7. She is a good interior desgner. She loves to rearrange furniture and she does a fabulous job.

6. She thinks I am really cool ( guess who)

5. She gives phenomenal massages.

4. She sleeps in ( guess who again)

3. She wants to trade clothes with me when she gets bigger.

2. " She's not a Barbie. She's tough. She cries when she's emotionally upset, but not when she's physically hurt. She's resiliant" ( daddy)

1. She is absolutely the best author and illustrator I will ever meet in real life. I hope she dedicates abook to me.

Who is better off ?

Speaking of activity...we have none. When I decided to join our pool again, decided to cancel everything else. I think Jack has a soccer camp in August, but besides that and this week of Girl Scouts Camp, we have nothing. I don't think in 8 years, I have had a summer of nothing. When D was 6 months, we did baby nd me swim classes and have been going strong ever since.

I cancelled Jack's swimming lessons. There is no better way for a child to learn how to swim other than doing it with all of his friends 2hours in the afternoon and 2 hours before bedtime. I didn't sign dagny up for swim team. We all know she's great, blah, blah, blah. I don't want her, me, or Jack wasting one minute of this summer competing or practicing. I want her making motorcycles out of water noodles and seeing who can do the best flip into the pool.

I feel very off and very weird about not having something for them...art camp, gymnastics camp, sports camp, zoo camp, OMSI camp. Nothing. Today Jack and I sat on our asses. All. Day. Long. We didn't answer the phone. We watched TV, we napped ( OK I napped) he explained his video game to me, we checked on our carrots, radishes, green onions, cucumbers, tomatoes, basil, and jalepeno peppers he has planted. We discussed growth cycles and how radishes have the fastest. We made homemade vegetable soup. We played mahjong on the computer, his favorite game. He climbed into the bathtub with me and he washed my hair. I cleaned his closet and he helped.

But when the day was done all the neighbor kids came home ( including my daughter from gs camp). Two to our right, one on our left, two on the next left, one across the street, two more two doors down. The neighborhood completely comes alive with little children everywhere. I start to feel a bit guilty. I thought "geez, the kids have had so much fun today. They experienced so much. Jack sat on his butt with his old mom and hung out and chopped vegetables. " But I know what it's like to be one of those moms, those families. I have also learned from jack that he isn't one of those kids that loves to go, go, go. He thrives on quiet, routine and that's ok.

I think a huge part of my decision to keep the kids home with me this summer was, they were gone so much this year. Now that they are both in school and gone every day, as much as I love that, I miss my babies. I miss having them with me. Next year Jack will be gone every day all day long and while that's OK, I will miss having my babies with me very very much. I know how quickly this summer will fly by, and I guess I didn't want to waste any of it with them making toilet paper wind socks or learning how to braid.

It may be selfish and it may not be best, but I want them home. With me.

Saying goodbye to Batman

My daughter's been at Girl Scout camp all week which has left Jack and I on our own. This has actually been wonderful as he's very easy to have around and prefers to be quiet and color. I don't have to fill the day with activity like I do my daughter. However, being my daughters mother, I can only sit around so long. Today I decided to clean out my son's closet, which is LONG over due.

I started with getting rid of Fall clothes that I knew wouldn't make it another season. I decided to take his clothes off the high high bar, where they have been hung for years, because as when they were little, my kids thought it was fun to play Santa, and take all of their clothes out of their closets and drawers and dump them into their pillowcases and pretend they were santas. This of course infuriated mommy to no end because this was back in the day when she actually folded the clothes and hung them up according to color, size and season. So since then, J;s clothes have been hung up on the high shelf. This afternoon, I asked him to come into the closet to see if he could reach the middle shelf, which is regular closet bar height. He could. I couldn't believe it. We agreed it was time to hang his school clothes on that shelf so he can pick out his own clothes in the fall.

After tossing out about 2/3 of his clothes, I moved onto toys. He doesn't have a lot of toys. He's always been a child who likes one thing. Take him to a toystore and he will literally pick one thing. He won't change his mind, he doesn't want two of the one thing...he just wants that one thing. This has made him very easy to buy for. When he was about 2 and we were living in Seattle, we went shopping at Target. He was in the childseat of the cart and I was cruising the boy clothes. We passed the "character pajamas" and in his little 2 year old baby voice he said very , very clearly "Batman" and pointed to a pair of caped polyester jammies with the infamous Batman logo branded on them. I said " What did you just say?" and he repeated it...." Batman" . I called B onthe phone and asked " have you ever told J about Batman? have you ever watched batman? Has he ever SEEN batman?" I was utterly dumbfounded that he would know a word that I had not personally taught him. Brian said no, and I asked J if he wanted the batman costume. This was the beginning of a 3 year affair our family had with Bruce Wayne.

Now when I had only one child and that child was an only child I despised character clothing and over my dead body would my kids ever wear that crap and all the other stuff stupid ignorant 1st time mom's blather on about. However seeing the joy that batman borought to my son's world, I would have painted the batman logo on his wall if he had asked ( although he did ask us to paint his room black with stalactites so he could live in a cave) He longed for nothing else other than batman toys, costumes, books, cars. He dabbled a bit in Power Rangers, Superman, Rescue Heroes, but it was Batman he always returned to.

The Batman box of toys has been up on his top shelf for about a year now. Last fall I asked what he wanted to do with them and he said give them away. I thought " Are you f*cking kidding me? We LOVE Batman, remember Jack? That is who you are!!! Where will we be without the Dark Knight?" I thought he had to be joking, this was a phases and that eventually we'd come back to Batman. Batman ( or rather Batmen) have sat up there for months. Here I was again, cleaning out the closet and came upon the big bin. "Jack ", I say "Jack what are we going to do with these, should we bring them down? " He says no, I told you I don't want them anymore. First he quits nursing when he's one, then he goes to Kindergarten and now this. Why doesn't he just rip my heart out and it stomp on it. Bastard. I say well I am going to save them in case you have a little boy when you grow up. He replies " I won't have a boy, I'll have a girl, now get rid of them". I tell him Dagny played with Batman too, so I will save them. " Well then you better be saving all those BARBIES too so my little girl will have something to play with" What the hell is wrong with little boys? I think secretly he's just as sad to see batman go as I am, he's just trying not to show it.

So the batmans ( batmen) are packed and sitting at the top of the stairs. I haven't decided what I will do them just yet. If I get rid of them, I am getting rid of a huge part of my sons life. Even though he's ready to give them up, I guess maybe I'm not.

batman

Batman at Christmas

Batman at Easter

Batman climbing a tree

Batman flying his first kite

cheating on Batman ( he's actually got his Batman outfit on underneath his Spidey. We brought the Sipdey along as he refused to wear it.

So it may be time

to start covering up around Jack. He waS in the bathtub and I had just gotten out of the shower. I had a towel wrapped around me, but it probably didn't cover all the way. Jack says to me " Oh mom....your butt looks so handsome. Maybe we could draw a smiley face on it."

WTH?

OK, I will try pictures again

try this

I think I may be an awful blogger this summer. All I have been doing is playing with my kids, my husband, and our friends and family. We had a gathering Friday night and for some reason, I didn't take one picture. ( hopefully I will have some submitted to me and I will post them....hint hint). We had about 14 adults and 10 kids which made things a little cazy, but managable. It was a great way to start off the summer. The kids got their report cards and they were both fantastic. Dagny receieved many O's ( outstanding) as did Jack. Jack's teacher wrote on his report card " Thank you for sending this wonderful child to us" How sweet is that. He's either meeting or exceeding in every area. His math skills really stand out. He loves doing math on the chalkboard at school. There would be row after row after row of his work, and he'd always sign it. One of the equations was...

" 60 x 4 = 240 by Jack"

How the hell he can do that is beyond me. He is scarey.

Dagny is off to Girl Scout Camp this week. There were quite a few girls she knew there besides Charlotte. Mostly girls she plays sports with. I can't wait until we have our own troop next year. It's going to be great.

OK, here are some pictures

Summer So Far

back in '88 I thought this song was written for me, me, me. Turns out it wasn't. Turns out there are LOTS of girls out there who are gonnna start tomorrow.And then I met his boy and he felt this music as much as I did... I knew I would marry him very early on. And here we are celebrating 10 years of marriage this year...

I love you Brian

Jane says
I'm done with Sergio
He treats me like a ragdoll
She hides
The television
Says I don't owe him nothing,
But if he comes back again
Tell him to wait right here for me
Or just
Try again tomorrow
I'm gonna kick tomorrow
Gonna kick tomorrow

Jane says
Have you seen my wig around?
I feel naked without it
She knows
They all want her to go
But that's O.K. man
She dont like them anyway
Jane says
She's goin away to spain
When she gets my money saved
I'm gonna start tomorrow
I'm gonna kick tomorrow
Gonna kick tomorrow

She gets mad
Starts to cry
She takes a swing but
She cant hit
She don't mean no harm
She just don't know
What else to do about it

Jane goes
To the store at 8:00
She walk up on St. Andrews
She waits
And gets her dinner there
She pulls her dinner
From her pocket
Jane says
I've never been in love
I don't know what it is
Only knows if someone wants her
I want them if they want me
I only know they want me

She gets mad
And she starts to cry
She takes a swing man
She cant hit!
She don't mean no harm
She just dont know
What else to do about it

Jane says
Jane says

Halloween '04 ...Jack really wanted to be a devil but for some reason, was really pissed with the way his costume turned out....hence the scowl. 

reminder

tomorrow night D will not be able to sleep with covers. this is due to the fact that she took a ballpoint pen and covered all over her down comforter.

Mother trucker

She better be thanking her lucky stars she has a friend spending the night.

Brian's top 5 favorite bands

5. The Smiths








4. The Who








3. Beastie Boys










2. Ramones









1. Jane's Addiction

Jack

Yesterday we were talking about some preschool friends who moved away last year. Jack asked where they moved to .

Me: " I can't remember. Either Arizona or New Mexico"

Jack: "oh man, that's too bad."

Daddy: " Why is that too bad, Jack?"

Jack : " Because it is so so hot there, I bet they don't have ANY friends."

Me: " Whta does the weather have to do with making friends?"

Jack: " Because when it' sreally hot, people get really sweaty, and when they get really hot and sweaty, they get really angry, especially when they drive. And when people are really hot and sweaty and angry, they don't want to be friends. I bet Kevin and Kyle don't have ANY friends"



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Preface...my friend Amy ever since I have know her which is pretty much since the last time I permed my hair, has called her girl parts her kook-a-doo. It's prounounced kind of like Cuckoo clock, only it's kook-a-doo. We all think this is funny, funny so we now all call our girl parts kook-a-doos. And now of course, kook-a-doo has been handed down to the next generation in our household.




In the car this weekend I said something and Dagny thought I said " I want to eat a weiner" . The kids thought this was hilarious as it was completely not in context of the conversation ( nor was it what I said) . They start chanting " I want to eat a weiner too !! Weiner weiner weiner" Weiner turned to frankfurter which was even funnier. Brian of course being the 36 year old 12 year old that he is is completely joining in.









Then Jack shouts out... " I don't want to eat a weiner......I want to eat a KOOK-A-DOO !"


Me: " Ok, whoa, whoa, whoa, Jack NOT OKAY! "

Jack: "Kook-a doo Kook-a-doo, I want to eat a kook-a-doo"


It was seriously a proud moment for his father.

It is 7:40. we need to leave the house for school in 30 minutes. I am still lying in bed typing. Jack is still in bed sleeping. Dagny is still in her pajamas, with her crazy ass morning hair that she slept on while it was wet after swimming last night, in her tree house playing.

No one is dressed

One of us isn't even up

No one has had breakfast

Lunches aren't made

Teeth aren't brushed

shoes aren't on

homework isn't packed

beds aren't made

My kids are very lucky to be able to have such mornings

THERE ARE STILL 4 MORE DAYS OF SCHOOL LEFT!!! GET UP !!!

Comments

One of my loyal readers ( and believe it or not, I have many) has emailed me and said that my new comments are working. If you have a moment, could you try leaving one? I don't want to upset my fans. I would be happy to switch back to my old comments.

XOXOXO

sillypants

Congratulations to my big stud cousin on his h.s. graduation 

Dags and Char with some sort of Barbie bathing suits 

Hawaii 

We miss Hawaii 

The Adventures of

Shark Boy and Lava Girl was "the best movie" my kids have ever seen. It was absolutely painful for Brian and I to sit through. The 3-D made it worth it for them. We were so bored we had to come home and take a nap.

Weekend plans

Yet another relaxing afternoon spent by the pool. There were 6 of the usual mom's with 12 of the regular kids. In addition, the twins were there which made jack jump for joy. The twins went to preschool with Jack and were his best friends for two years. He has asked to see the twins all year long and today he had his wish. They joined the pool last year so they will be with us all summer. It was wonderful to see them, see how much they've grown, and to sit and talk with their mommy. The kids swam for 2 hours and Jack could barely pull himself out of the water when we left.

I got all freaked out a while back and started thinking that some pervert was going to cut out my kids' faces and glue them onto bodies and sell child porn. I took down all the clear pictures of my kids. Upon further thought, I realized that my camera is so crappy that you can hardly see them at all. So pictures will be back up. I am sure you are all THRILLED !

I go in for a CT scan tomorrow. Turns out my sinuses are awfully messed up and they want to operate. I will know more next week.


Duncan is on his way over for dinner. We shall sit out back, drink vino, and listen to great music.

Here are our hubbieslaunching water ballons. Do they not look 12 years old? 

Dagny had to give a presentation in school this week. For a month the children worked on a research project to create a biography term paper. Dagny's subject was Amelia Earhart. It was a very indepth report, and the children could only use notecards for their speeches. Here is D's teacher introducing her to all the parents. 

Despite having strep throat for the two days prior to her presentation, Dagny did a wonderful job.  

5 more days of school

we are so, so close !

We went to the pool yesteday and had a wonderful time. It is a small intimate pool where the kids all play well and are all well behaved. All of my children's friends belong and there are always 3 or 4 kids for each of them to play with. I don't have to worry about weirdo's in the bathroom or trying to keep an eye on them. I can just sit with my mommy friends and gossip. We can walk to Burgerville for lunch and in the evenings, we bring coolers filled with picnic dinners , adult beverages, and desserts. There are blackberry bushes all along the back fence of the picnic area and the kids take berry breaks where they go and pick berries and gobble them up. We have monthly potlucks where the whole neighborhood gets together to eat. I am so glad summer is here.

Tomorrow is field day at school and daddy took the day off to volunteer. Fridays I volunteer as well, so we will be up there together. I can't wait for him to have hot lunch in the lunchroom. The kids are very blessed to have such a wonderful daddy ( even though I complain about him alot. I don't really mean it. You know that , right honey? XOXOX Love you. ) In the evening, we are sharing a sitter with dagny's best friend and going to a Garden Party at a friends house. The school staff will all be there, along with "certain parents". I can't wait to sit down and have a glass of wine with Mrs B. After spending two years with her, I have grown to love her very, very much. Afterwards we are going to hit the town with Char's parents. They are a great couple and they make Bri and I look like we never go out.

This period of childhood makes all of the morning sickness, blistered nipples, stitched up kook-a-doos, chasing and chasing and chasing a toddler, not sleeping, scrubbing poop out of the carpet, trips to the ER and complete and total exhaustion of the first 5 years completely and totally worth it. How's THAT for a run on sentence?

Week in review

Our week has been a rough one...one of lost pets, dying cars and strep throat.

As you all know, last week Jack lost his dearest pet, Ben. What I haven't mentioned is on Friday, our dog trixie ran away. She has run before, but this time she was gone-gone. The kids and I, at 7:30 AM drove after her, chasing her, trying to coax her into the car. Around 8 I told the kids that we needed to get to school as Jack had his one and only field trip of the year, and I was expected to chaperone. I drove thru the Burgerville drive thru to get the kids egg and cheese sandwiches for breakfast. When I arrived, J's teacher told me they weren't leavig for 30 minutes, and I had time to run home and see if Miss T had shown up. I drove home and searched and searched. But there was no Trixie. It;s been 4 days and we have heard nothing. This has made Dagny completely and totally sad. I am sure I will not get any more pets for these children. It's awful watching them do this.

Saturday dagny and her best friend Charlotte went to the zoo with their teacher. Char's mom won the event at our auction. They got to have lunch and spend the afternoon with their beloved teacher all to themselves. Afterwards, D stayed at Char's and asked to stay the night. I agreed and ran her over her toothbrush and jammies. Having the evening to ourselves, mommy and daddy decided to drink lots and lots of wine. They were getting ready to go night night at 11:30 when the phone rang. It was Char's mom and she let me know she was bringing Miss D home, as she was homesick. She arrived and fell into bed. She sked if I would sleep with her because she missed me so much. Of course I agreed. I woke up around 4:30 and she wasn't in bed......she was in da' potty getting ready to hurl. She wasn't homesick....she was sick-sick. She spent all day Sunday flat on her back. Today, we took her in and she has strep. She was ordered to stay hoe one more day. So my little princess and I will spend one more day together tomorrow.

Jack and I had Saturday all to ourselves. He had a baseball game at 11 and afterwards, we hit Home Depot for backyard stuff. He and I spent the whole afternoon planting and gardening. He really enjoys gardening. He's excited to see hi vegetables grow. He spent the evening running around the neighborhood with the other boys.

Today B's car broke down ( again) . We called AAA and J and I had to wait on the side of the road for them to show up. So now we have one car ( again) which means my mom has to drive Jack to school tomorrow ( again) . We need a different f*cking car. That car is ghetto. I say we sell the volvo and the van and get two newer-used cars.


8 days of school left, but who's counting?


I know this update isn't even vaguely interesting. But I am really tired and grumpy and this whole blog is supposed to be for the babies to look back and read and remember their lives.

Mmm-kay?

Gay

I was reading Little House to my 8 1/2 year old daughter. I read something along the lines of "ma and pa were so gay". My daughter stops me and says "OMG !!! THEY WERE GAY???"

I say " what the heck are you talking about....do you even know what gay means?"

dags " Yes, it has two meanings..it either means you are happpy or that, you know, like a boy and a boy love each other or a girl and a girl love each other."

Me thinking " how in the hell did she learn that?"

This leads to a *very brief* discussion on homosexuality. She asks if we know any *gay* people and I say yes. She asks who and I reach for our closest example...the two women across the street. I swear you can actually see lightbulbs going off in the childs head.

She says " ohhhhhhh, I thought they were just friends."

I say no, they are in love with each other and we as a family think that is wonderful.

She says ok. And runs off to climb a tree or something.

Divine secrets of the Ma- Ma sisterhood

Our *almost* monthly girls night out was tonight. I have known these women since I was 17 years old. I tried to get them to flash their boobies with me, but they wouldn't. Whatever, losers.



Anyways, here we are....

kim trying to out blog me 

amy and jeanne 

amy's arm has been edited per her request. Notice all of the glasses on the table are empty. 

samantha, carrie, charlotte and miranda 

There is nothing more painful

Then watching your child's heart break right in half.

Today we lost a family pet. Not any family pet....Jack's personal pet that slept in his room. We bought the children rats back in November for their birthdays. We went to the pet store with the intent of buying hamsters, but after much persuasion on how wonderful rats are, and how much better they are for small children, we some how left Petco not with two hamsters, but with two rats.

The salesperson was 100% right....the rats made fantastic pets. they are slow, not skiddish, not easily frightened, they don't bite, they don't run....they are like really little old dogs. They are clean, they don't smell, they sleep at night, they are soft and cuddly and the children adored them. The kids became parents to their rats...they had playdates in each other;s rooms, they set up obstacle courses for them , while the kids played legos their furry children would run around them. The rats loved the Imaginext worlds the children would create for them. While the dogs were out, the rats would run around the house exploring. They are a respected and revered part of our family.

ABout 3 months after we brought the rats home, we noticed that Ben, Jack's rat, wasn't doing as well as Coco. He wasn't as heavy, he was losing fur....having two made it all the more noticeable. We thought about taking him to the vet, but the thought of shelling out $300 for a $6 rat was absurd. We hoped that Ben would make a recovery. We switched bedding, food but nothing helped....He continued to get smaller and balder. I knew the end was near, and I hoped that when the end came Jack wasn't around to witness it.

This morning dags and I were in the bathroom getting ready for school. I asked her if she had seen Jack yet. She told me that he was up and that he was in my bed. I walked into my bedroom and saw a big lump buried under my covers.

Me: " jack?"

Jack: "what?"

Me: "Jack, what are you doing? You have to get ready for school"

Jack: "Mom, go look at Ben and tell me what is wrong"

Of course I knew what had happened, I knew it before I reached his room. I knew it was Ben's time....but I wasn't prepared for the little mouse that had loved my son so much for many months to be laying there, at the bottom of his cage, gasping for breath. It was awful. It probably would have been OK, f he were just dead. But he wasn't he was dying. His little head lifted up when I came in and opened his cage but then fell right back down.

Next up, all mayhem breaks loose. dagny the tornado came running in "WHAT?WHAT?WHAT? OMG IS BEN DEAD???OMG OMG" I shoo her out. I go to jack who is laying in my bed sobbing. "jack " I say. I take him in my arms and he sobs and sobs and sobs.....big huge heavy sobs. "Mom, mom, mom, why is he laying there?" I say jack, I think it's time for Ben to go. "No, no, no !! " he cries. I say "Jack, c'mon we have to get dressed for school. When we get home we will bury Ben and have a funeral for him, but right now we have to get to school !". I do not know what else I am supposed to do or say. He tells me there is NO WAY he is going to school and leaving Ben. I say fine, OK, but we are going to school to drop off his sister and he can go explain to his teacher why he wont' be in today.

Now I am thinking, once he gets to school, sees his friends, Ben will be forgotten and mommy will be told to go home. We arrive and walk in. We walk down to his class and his teacher is there, alone, preparing for the day. I say hello and tell her that jack has something to say. Jack approaches and gets three words out....three words "My....mouse....died" and the chin quivers and the tears start to flow and again, he is sobbing. She kneels down and takes him in her arms and holds him and says it;s alright, it;s alright. He is trying SO hard to be "strong" and "not cry" because somewhere along the line, that's what boys outside of our home have told him he is supposed to do. She understands completely, wishes jack all the consoling vibes she can, and we go home.

At home I go check on Ben. He is ready for his funeral. We get him a box, dig him a deep hole, place him in, and start to cover him. Once again, the tears start. I am floored at how much emotion this is bringing out in my son. We say a prayer and wish Ben well in mouse heaven. Later, my mom comes over to pay her last respects to Ben. We walk her to the grave site where she speaks. Jack, looking down says " Ummm, if it looks like my eyes are watering, it's because of the hot tub...I am NOT crying" . What the hell? When the hell did he turn into a man freak no crier ?

The rest of the evening goes by uneventfully. We have dinner and it's time for bed. I am tucking Jack in and I ask how he's doing. The chin quivers and the tears start....." I can't look over there ( to where Ben's cage was) I miss him. I am so sad"

I tell him " I know, I know it's sad, it hurts buddy, it makes your heart hurt, huh? "

" Yes he says, my heart aches....but not only am I sad. I am mad. I am mad at God. I am mad at him for taking Ben."

I know honey I know I know I know. Then he says " but mostly mom, I am and at me"

I say" oh honey, no no don't be mad at yourself"

" I am mad, it's all my fault....I didn't love him enough, I didn't play with him enough, I didn't exercise him enough! I was an awful dad to Ben and it's my fault he's dead. " he says as those dreaded tears keep oozing down.

I crawl into bed with my baby boy and wrap my body around him, letting him sob into my neck. As we lay together and I "there, there" him I stare up into the big Maple tree outside his window. I start to think about how many more times I will have to do this. As much as I regret ever BUYING that rat and I have thought all day "that's it ...no more pets EVER", I realize how experiencing this little death and this little heartbreak and showing him how to mourn and grieve is part of parenting . It isn't all about getting the new puppy ( or rat) and how much fun the new puppy ( or rat) is. They also have to learn the hard parts of life, cleaning up the poop and the heartbreak of burying ones we love. It;s about telling my son to cry his heart out and to be mad at God, not to "quit being such a pussy and it was just a stupid mouse" . Feel those feeling Jack, because that's we are here to do. He is going to not make the basketball team, he is going to catch the love of his life with his best friend, he will have family members become ill and he will have family members die. He will experience death, disappointment, grief, and heartbreak and it will hurt.

But it's supposed to.