This is why I always have a headache after book group. It's not the wine.....seriously

What you don't know

Women are incapable of truly, truly understanding men until they have raised one. You get even bigger points if you are raising children of both sexes and you can witness the differences on a day by day basis. Dagny cooed, Jack growled and grunted. Dagny always smelled like a sweet baby, Jack always smelled, well, not as sweet. The differences go on and on.

This weekend going down to pick up Jack from Boy Scout was yet another adventure in the land of Oh My God What The Hell Is Wrong With Boys? I WILL say this....the dad's that lead Jack's troop are phenomenal.....I mean really. My husband (no offense honey) along with 99% of the other men I know, could not do what these guys do. The patience that is required to corral a group of 9 and 10 year old boys, for three days in the woods is, well, there is just no way to measure that. Ever. But waking around this camp, seeing all the activities the boys engage in, especially after taking a pack girls on many overnight adventures, well the differences are mind blowing.....and I am not just talking about the obvious, like the bows and arrows, guns, and pocket knives.

The town is set up alot like Kid Nation. There is a main street and all along the main street are chessboards and groups of boys gathered around in various chess matches. In the field, there is an ENORMOUS on-going game of Dodgeball, where the boys are hootin' and hollerin' as they take turns nailing each other with balls. After supper ( or dinner?) we were treated to a staff show. One of the skits went like this....Two guys on stage, one guy says to the other "MAN, you stink! Don't you were deodorant? " And they banter back and forth about stink jokes with is "hysterical". Then the one guy, who is a grown man mind you....who has been camping for three days and has a whole lotta pit hair, tells the other guy he has the BEST deodorant in the world! It is peanut butter deodorant! Here! Let me show you! The man proceeds to goop peanut butter into his pits. And the boys, of course, are dying....this is the greatest thing EVER!! But wait ! There's more! What's great about this deodorant is, around noon every day when you get hungry, stay with now, you can just take this here piece of white bread and SCOOOOOOOP it onto your bread and then you know what you can do with it???

You can eat it !! And watch all the kids in the audience fall to the ground in horror and disgust and AWESOMENESS of the whole thing.

AND THEN!!

You can share the sandwich with the guy doing the skit with you.

And then I think I puked.

And then there were bird poop jokes, complete with whipping cream....maybe shaving cream. And on and on.

And they LOVE it. They love every minute of it.





Boys are a whole different ball of wax completely. I have know many mothers who have had girls first ( myself included) and thought Pshh! Parenting is a piece of cake! What were all of those people thinking! Obviously I am much better parent than them because this is a piece of cake! And then you get a boy and it is like what the hell am I supposed to do with this? And then at some point it clicks....You smack yourself in the head and think "OMG, they are BORN this way !" and you look back over your entire life and it all suddenly becomes so clear. They can't help it !! That's who they are !!!



There was a time awhile back where Jack was really working on a "machine gun sound" and it dove me nuts. We had made it this far with out guns, or gun references or wanting a gun, and I wasn't about to start now. He would do it all the time...."dadadadadadadadadadad" and I would say "JACK! STOP!" and he would. And then later it would start up again, usually involuntarily. And I thought I bet you ANYTHING this is how that Kip kid in Eugene got started. At some point, all four of us were in the car and he started and I as usual, told him to zip it. Brian was like "HUH? Why can't he do that?" I explained my reasons and in addition to those reasons it drove me f'ing crazy. Brian then explained to me how "hello? Machine-gun-sound-making is very cool and almost an art form and omg there was this kid in 3rd grade and I was so jealous of him because he could make THE coolest guns sounds and Jacks? Jacks is pretty cool, he has to keep working on that, for sure."

And I got all glassy eyed at some point and quit listening because I realized shit.....they just can't help it

ooh baby baby...bu bu bu baby

My baby is home

and washed

and clean

and in his bed

with fresh clean sheets

and all of his "things" all lined up in his bed





New pix on Facebook

update all day long ( updated, yet AGAIN !!)

Here is what a girl does when she has an entire day to herself...

Got Jack packed and off to camp

Finished my personal Pogo badge

Called Brian to check on Jack

Fertilized the back lawn

Watered the tomatoes

Laundry

30 minutes of yoga

Lifted weights on our home gym (chest press, push downs, leg extensions, shrugs, crunches....today is my "push day")

watched Intervention

ate some bagel chips

watched Date My Ex ( I love Jo and Slade...Why won't they get back togethhhheeeerrrrr????)

Replied to Facebook email

Emailed a reminder to the RH's class of '11 about our Friday picnic tomorrow

Called Brian to see if they got there ( no reply....OMG WTF?)

Rented The Dumbest Movie Ever Made

Ate leftover pasta

Missed a collect call from Brian at which point I completely freaked out beyond belief as I was sure Jack had fallen off a cliff or something much much worse.

Sat and waited for him to call back

Eventually he called back and all is fine, except Jack is not wearing sunscreen...Jesus

Took long hot bath and read my book didn't happen because....

Took a nap at 5:00 PM. Any mother worth her salt out there knows this is an UNHEARD of time to fall asleep

And the fact that I took a nap in general is cause for concern

Woke up around 6 ish.....

Wanderer around

Talked on the phone for an hour

Watched Entertainment Tonight and Extra without anyone rolling his their eyes

Watched my first episode ever of Ugly Betty (loved it)

Ate a Healthy Choice entree for dinner

Ate a cheese stick just to make sure I ward off any later hunger that would be induced by consuming a mere 300 calories for dinner


farted quite loudly


Watered flowers

Crawled upstairs around 9:30



Things I have not done today....

Showered

My hair

Spoke to my dogs like they were people

Told anyone to go to their room

Emptied the dishwasher



Mission accomplished..... My goal was to not hear my own voice for as long as possible....aside from canoodling Lu, I think I did pretty good.

And tomorrow I will

do something I have never, ever done.


I will spend the night in my own home.......alone.

He's all packed

And ready to go off to Boy Scout camp...my baby will be gone for three days.

It's funny how much I wanted summer to get here. Not summer itself, but just the warm weather, clear days and no rain. Around April sometime, my BFF declared that she officially HATES April because it just rains and rains and rains and doesn't stop raining and Jesus, enough of the rain. And then it rained through May and we all sat and complained about rain and where is our spring and then it snowed at one point and we were all about to rip out our hair because just one nice day.....is that too much to ask? So then eventually it does get warm, and then it gets hot, and then we all bitch about that. The heat comes and stays and everyday is beautiful and sunny and we are happy. But then, it is sunny every day. Sunny and hot, sunny and hot for months. And so far I am ok with that, because it hasn't gotten too hot....yet. We have weeks of summer left, and summer here usually reaches deep into September. So we have months ahead of us of sunny and warm weather.

My point is, yesterday and today it was kind of cloudy and cool and I was very excited. I know it is months away, but I am excited about being excited about the return of Fall.


We went out and saw my Aunt Catherine today. She seemed in good spirits and very happy at her new place of residence. She had eye surgery so she didn't look good, but she certainly was in great spirits.

While on the Eastside, we had to make an IKEA run, and go here for onion rings and burgers. I have been on a reading frenzy, my Aunt gave Crazy Ladies which looks great. I also have Knitting Under The Influence which also looks cute......

Things are starting to slow....

Dagny's show was on Saturday and it was fabulous. It is amazing what those kids can do in two weeks. She was supposed to go to an overnight party Saturday night, but decided she wanted nothing to do with it and all she was about to do was take her butt home and sleep. She is so good about knowing when to say no. Lets hope that's a characteristic she keeps ;) She absolutely loves performing, and the minute she walked off the stage, she asked if she could sign up for a second camp. Which exhausted me even thinking about it.

Sunday we worked around the house all day and then I took D and 5 of her friends to another party.....this one out at Blue Lake. It was a boy/girl party which means she has to spend an hour getting her hair just right and trying on 10 t-shirts that all look exactly the same and then lay out in the backyard to work on her tan. That evening we had a dinner party last night for 10 last night and the food was fabulous. Which is why we love being BFF's with chefs and restaurant people in general . Because they know how to cook really, really well.....and of course, drink really well. However getting ready for said party means I had to polish, and polish, and polish my stemware in hopes that not a water drop could be found, because you KNOW how that would look.


Tonight I am going to a party at a friends house to peruse jewelry and drink wine. She has a friend who is a school teacher in Shanghai and when she comes home, she brings a trunk load of jewels with her. We are all bringing our daughters as well, as they too need pearls from Shanghai. No? Hopefully Brian will take Jack over to REI to pick himself out a sleeping bag. He and Jack are headed off to camp later this week and I am so excited at the thought of my little men heading out into "the woods". It is boy heaven complete with archery, BB gun range, horseback adventures etc .....all the stuff my husband loves. Oh my God to be a fly on the wall. He is only going to suffer stay one night and let Jack stay the rest of the time with his pack. Meanwhile, Dagny and I will be getting pedicures and going to see Mamma Mia. I hope I don't embarrass her too much.


xoxo

Silly

Sleeping in late

Last night we went to the invitation only opening of a new restaurant down in the pearl. Dinner was very good, the mushroom soup was probably the best I have had. The place was packed with other restaurant people we knew, so we had a good time wining and dining and bouncing around to say hello to different tables.

After we left, we decided to meet some other people over here for what else? More wining and socializing. While we were here one of our friends called home to check in with her sitter which prompted me to do the same. Except now when I call home to check in, I don't call the sitter. I call my daughter. Who is the sitter. Who is just so responsible and great and good with Jack when I am not around to piss off by pinching him on the arm. She assured us all was well, gave us phone messages and then hung up.

When we arrived home she had her brother in his jammies up in our bed watching TV. She had cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom, watered both the front yard as well as the back, and taken out the garbage and recycling to the curb since today is trash day. The house looked better than it did if B and I had stayed home.

It is true what they say......It is amazing how quickly they grow and how well they turn out, despite their parents.

Time for a meme

We haven't done one of these in a while :)

I am tagging Abra, WOD, Charlotte, and the gazelle on crack


1. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times. Grease

2. Name a movie that you’ve seen multiple times in the theater. Simpsons Movie

3. Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie. Vince Vaughn

4. Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie. Sylvester Stallone

5. Name a movie that you can and do quote from. Mel Brooks History of the World Part 1

6. Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs. Grease 1 and Grease 2, Moulin Rouge, Mamma Mia, Lion King, Wizard of Oz

7. Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with. See above.

8. Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see. Cinema Paradiso

9. Name a movie that you own. The Patriot ( rolls eyes)

10. Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops. JLo.....I loved Out of Sight

11. Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in? If so, what? You bet. Before the Tigard theater was the Tigard theater, it was a drive in and we saw movies there and the one on 82nd.....Can't remember which ones

12. Ever made out in a movie? Kind of

13. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven’t yet gotten around to it. Sweeney Todd

14. Ever walked out of a movie? Yup, Dances with Wolves

15. Name a movie that made you cry in the theater. Cinema Paradiso, The Elephant Man, ET, What Dreams May Come

16. Popcorn? YES !!

17. How often do you go to the movies (as opposed to renting them or watching them at home)? About once a month

18. What’s the last movie you saw in the theater? Incredible Hulk

19. What’s your favorite/preferred genre of movie? Romantic comedies

20. What’s the first movie you remember seeing in the theater? One of the Witch Mountain movies, and/or Benji. My grandma used to take me to the Valley so see movies

21. What movie do you wish you had never seen? hmmmmm

22. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed? You mean that I can mention on a family blog?

23. What is the scariest movie you’ve seen? Burnt Offerings

24. What is the funniest movie you’ve seen? The Meet The Parents movies, Office Space, Raising Arizona, Something about Mary

Out we go again....

We have not been home on a weekend night in forever. It is week after week of parties and BBQs and this weekend is no different. Tonight we are headed over to D's basketball coach for a party, tomorrow it is off to the Binams. It has done wonders for our grocery budget. All this partying however is not good for mommy's Hawaii weight loss challenge. Somehow my husband has lost 10 pounds where as I, well, I have not gained....so I am celebrating the small things.


Dagny has acting camp downtown for two weeks. She leaves there every day a hot sweaty mess. Meanwhile, Jack is taking full advantage of having the house to himself and we have had a different boy from school here day after day..... ANd Good Lord the difference between girl playdates and boy playdates is exhausting. Dagny can have a whole house full of girls over, clamoring up and down the stairs, hanging off her balcony, music blaring, texting each other despite the fact that they are in the same room.....and it doesn't even come close to a house with, say, 3 boys in it. My poor son will never have the social life my daughter does.


We officially cancelled our beach trip in August yesterday. We need to be saving for Hawaii. It killed me to make the phone call, but I feel a huge sense of accomplishment at making a good choice, knocking one more thing off our calendar, and one more thing off our check book. Maybe daddy will still take the time off and we can enjoy the latest rage, "The Stay-Cation" .......The vacation where you stay home.


Both kids are gone for a week in August. We are entertaining the thought of a small par-tay. Stay tuned :)

Pink Martini was the background music on CSI:NY tonight.

Can't decide if that's a good thing or not.....

summer luvin'

The worlds Greatest Camp Counselors



It was called Bubble Camp for a very good reason



After camp we headed to the coast



where Jack did this the whole time





and then my camera died for a long time......

Another week down.

The kids simply can't get enough of each other. They are in some new phase which means all they want to do is be together. They sleep together every night, trying out new locations in the house. Their favorite spot so far is the downstairs front living room. Why I don't know. This means Brian gets up around 4:30 AM tramps down the stairs with two large dogs and lets them outside. he also makes coffee grinds up ice from the ice maker, goes up and down the stairs a million more times, and they somehow sleep through the entire thing. When they do wake up around 8:30 or 9:00, they scoot off to one of their rooms where they crawl into bed together and read. There has been little fighting, usually about who has who's laser pointer or something silly like that, which resolves itself in about 20 seconds.

We haven't been hitting the pool much. The kids told me they would rather by a Wilson pool pass this year, but I didn't listen. I thought for sure once they were back in the pool swimming with all of their friends, they would remember how much they loved it, but no such luck. When I do successfully beg them to go, they whine the whole time about going home. And that is if I can manage to get them to actually get in the pool at all.

I have been cooking up a storm. I think I am nesting. Last night we had a very delicious and healthy roasted veg dish with leeks, tomatoes, onions and zucchini. I threw in 4 chicken breasts marinated in lemon juice and olive oil and fresh rosemary. My side dishes were an equally healthy fruit salad and a very unhealthy fettucini alfredo with fresh fettuccini. If Jack could have crawled into the bowl of pasta, I think he would have. He also tried cantelope ( his sister is really encouraging him to try new foods) and lo and behold we can add cantelope to the very short list of foods Jack likes. Tonight will be marinated flank steak and a soba salad with homemade lemon squares for dessert. And by the way, do you have any idea how expensive lemons are? Jesus.


I have a new mad love and it's name is air conditioning. I am someone who really does not like heat unless I am in Hawaii, which is where the heat is supposed to be. We installed A/C last winter and Oh Mother Of God I can't thank the universe enough. When it was just a little too hot for my delicateness last night, I pushed the magic button and Voila! I am chilled to a comfortable 67 degrees just like that. Every time I take out the trash, I pet my A/C and give it a little kiss. is that wrong?

We purchased all the kids' school supplies last week, so their backpacks are packed and ready to go. I know I have 8 weeks left, but a girl can't be too prepared. More proof of nesting.

lazy, lazy summer

So this is our first real week off. The first week the kids and I worked bubble camp at preschool and had to be out the door by 8 every morning Last week Jack and his buddy Aiden did a week of Sports Camp and I had to have them both there by 9. I was so happy when this week finally rolled around and we were able to just relax and sleep in. The kids have been spending 12 hours a day outside playing with all of the neighbor kids, eating a tom of popsicles and fruit, running through the sprinklers, playing elaborate make believe games, reading and reading and reading. They don't want to go anywhere or do anything. I think it is because they have the perfect combination of socializing with others here, and when they need a break or get bored, they can come inside and regroup.

Last weekend we drove out to the overnight camp that Dagny will be staying at for a week. They host an open house for families to come and tour the facilities etc. Dagny was excited and reassured, but Jack was the one who thought he had died and gone to heaven. Salamanders, archery, canoeing in one spot! Who knew such a place existed. When we got back into town, we checked to see if there was any availabilty for his age group and lo and behold, there was. He batted his big green eyes at grandma and the next thing we knew, he was registered for a week in the woods. He is so excited he can hardly stand it. Mommy is completely lost as to what to do for a week with no kids. Surely I can find something...


I had book group this week, which I was very much looking forward to as I completely forgot to go last month. We had good food and wine, but the AC was out which I have very, very little patience for. Last night we had my mom and Rich over for barbequed fajitas, cucumber avocado salsa, and a banana cream pie for dessert. The kids have been staying up too late but no one cares as we have no place to go in the morning. We have blown off Tae Kwon Do the past two weeks, so I will be dragging Jack's lazy but there later today as well as the library because we need More Books ! Jack has read just about the entire Harry Potter collection in a few short weeks. He needs the last one to complete his marathon.

that's all for now,

silly