The adventures of me in my Mad-Cap Mini-Van

2009-10-03T20:59:00.000-07:00

Jack, 9:00 PM: "No offense mom, but people always seem to roll their eyes at you."

So I guess she was nice yesteday

2009-09-28T17:39:00.000-07:00

since I didn't post =)

Tonight Dagny has a friend over as they are going to basketball practice later on. Basketball girls are a special group. Not sure how to describe them other that that....Special.

Anyhoo, we are having dinner and we are discussing whether a tomato is a fruit or a vegetable and how confusing tomatoes are. Dagny blurts out " Yeah, they aren't vegetables or fruits....they are like bi-sexual or something". I dropped my fork, and my jaw, her girlfriends BURSTS out laughing, spewing water everywhere. Dagny immediately turns 10 shades of red.

Later, Jack wants to look up a web address that was given to him by a friend. Apparently his friend created a website and it was really funny. Jack had the URL written down, but couldn't find it. So he thought he would google some of the words in the web address to see if that would help. He typed in "dark and awesome webs". The first link at the top of the page? "Free porn chat:Nude adults cams naked rooms"

These are some good times.

So I have this idea....

2009-09-26T08:14:00.001-07:00

Even if I have nothing else to update or post, I will post one line of the day out of my daughter's mouth. That way, when she looks back and reflects over this here blog I have created for the past five years, and she relives her life, her upbringing, her day to day existence....she can look at these years and truly appreciate what a good mother I actually was, and what amazing patience and control I displayed to her.

Scene from this week.....

I make the children's lunches every day. Everyday it is their responsibility to get me their lunch boxes. This happens sometime between the time they get home from school, to the next morning when they are packing up and getting ready. This has been the routine for oh, about 8 years.

I was packing Jack's lunch up and yelled up to my sweet princess " Dagz, I need your lunch box". About 5 minutes later there was a "storm, storm, storm, storm" down the stairs.....

She storms over to her backpack brings it it in, slams it on the counter, pulls out the lunch box, throws it on the counter and says to me "Looks like someone needs a lesson on how a backpack works".

And so begins our day.

13 is right around the corner. Good times.

So yes there is the storming, but there is also all these wonderful moments of mother daughter grown up talk which is really, really meaningful as well as insightful. It gives me glimmers of the woman that she is oh so slowly and painstakingly becoming. Last night she went to the Friday night high school football game along with all of the other middle schoolers. They all hang out in groups, packs, cliques, eyeing each other up, hanging with all the kids from the other middle school who they will eventually go to school with in two short years. She comes home with the stories, who said what to who, who swore the most, the 8th graders who sneak up to the top of the bleachers and spit on cars, who called who a slut. She knows many of the high schoolers because they went to elementary/middle school with her. She sees them now with boyfriends and girlfriends and she sees them making out. She comes home and tells me everything, or perhaps almost everything. She knows I won't judge and I won't repeat. She is starting to see some of my advice pay off. Like she will see so and so girl who is dressed like a hooker and acting like one as well. She says "OMG mom, you were SO right about that girl!" Sad to say that you can look at a 10 year old and get a pretty good idea of where she is going, but for the most part, you can. So yes, we have the storming, but knowing it is all part of the course of her trying to break free a little bit at a time, watching her stretch those little fluffy downy wings of hers, excercing them daily to make them stronger and stronger. Watching her start to flap them...picking and choosing my battles.

Today is our Middle School Car Wash. I started the Car Wash last year and swore it was my first and last time doing one. However somehow, I got roped in again. And apparently they thought last year's was so successful, that they would do TWO this year! Yeah me! Last year I couldn't walk the next day. Washing cars for four hours is very, very hard work. But thank God the weather is beautiful.....It should be a success.

She's feeling it

2009-09-07T20:52:00.000-07:00

Lucy.

I don't think she quite got it....the thing we did Friday night. She was probably optomistic, thinking she was at spa, getting her teeth and nails done. Or maybe one of those overnights at the vet where she gets her IV full of fluids and is home the next day. Or maybe at a sleepover at a friends house, but surely she would be coming home soon.

Someone asked me how Lucy was taking it, I said " Fine, absolutely no change"

But today, she is clearly sad, she is depressed. Her head is low, her tail doesn't wag, she isn't as excited as usual. Instead of following us from room to room, she lays in the living room. Maybe, she is waiting.

I try to talk to her about it.....I do the " WOOO WOOOOO" , she wags her tail like yes, yes, yes, and I pet her and love her and say no honey, no. Hoping to explain to her that no, the WOO WOOOOOOO is gone. We have forever lost the woo woo.

But today, I am good. Saturday was a fucking bitch. Seriously. Sunday was rough-ish. Today was better. I have a candle burning in our room where that beast laid for many moons. I love looking over at that candle and seeing it flicker away. I think there she is, there is her spirit. Still here.

He always wanted a mastiff

2009-09-04T18:41:00.000-07:00

Years and years ago, Brian was the GM of Jazz de 0pus. A few storefronts down a woman had a shop.....I can't remember the shop or what she sold, but she had these two giant mastiffs. Beautiful dogs. They would lay out on NW 2nd watching the homeless, druggies, drunkards, and general dregs of the earth traipsing by day after day. They were enormous dogs. 3 or 4 feet tall. Brian would stop by and see them every day and he would say to me "THAT is the dog I am going to get" I always though it was because at 6'6" the mastiffs came up to him around the same spot say a lab or a golden came up to a regular sized person. Also, there is something about being a giant that makes you in your own class. Those Mastiffs looked at Brian and he looked back and I think they got each other.... Like man, isn't it a bitch being this huge.

About 8 years after that, we were finally in a house big enough, with a yard, where the possibility of owning a Mastiff was actually doable. We had one dog, a retarded lab, named Barkley who would eventually self destruct. But our family wasn't complete. Having one dog is never a good idea. Dogs need companionship. So we started thinking about that Mastiff....Daddy's Mastiff. I didn't want to buy from a ~~puppy mill whore~~ breeder so I thought about rescuing one. I contacted the Mastiff rescue society, filled out my paper work, they sent someone out to interview the family, inspect the property, interact with Barkley the retard, all to see if we would pass inspection and be lucky enough to rescue one of their breeds. Things looked good, but we needed to wait.

Months went by, and eventually we got the phone call. A mastiff was dumped at the Columbia animal shelter by a known breeder who had claimed they had "found her". The Mastiff people swooped in and placed her in foster care to have her evaluated where she lived for a few weeks. She passed all of her tests, and they wanted to know if we would like to go out and see this little girl and perhaps make her apart of our home. We were giddy....besides ourselves with excitement. FINALLY our mastiff had arrived and we were all atwitter with excitement. On the way out we had all sorts of conversations....What would she look like, what wold we call her, how BIG will she be.

We arrived in a less than desirable neighborhood, not bad-bad, but not very good. The houses were small, maybe two bedrooms. Crappy cars, garbage kinda piled up, no sidewalks, 500 toys on each front lawn. You get the idea. We found our house and entered. The woman explained what they knew of Katie's history that she too, had small children, and Katie had been excellent with them, etc. We stood there impatiently like yeah yeah yeah, bring out the dog. When it was time, we all kinda looked at each other, all excited, all here she comes !! And instead of a grand majestic four foot lion dog, out walked the saddest looking "dog" any of us had ever seen. She was maybe a foot and a half to her shoulders, her back was so swayed and her nipples nearly hit the ground from being bred, and bred, and bred. She was still recovering from the chop shop neutering they do at the pound ( not the Humane Society) and my God, she was the most sorriest looking Mastiff I had ever layed eyes on.

"What do you think?" the woman asked. I wanted to burst out laughing and say "Is this a joke? you're joking right? Stop it. Brian, let's GO" . But to my left my husband said "Well I think she's just great! Right Silly?" and I looked at her again. And then again, and then she looked at me and through her Jedi-ways said to me "Listen, get me the fuck out of here, trust me, it'll work". The kids were already head over heels and I knew there was no going back. We took "Baby" loaded her into the mad cap mini van, and hightailed it back to the right side of town.

"KATIE!!!" said Brian once we were in the car "Katie is her name!! Isn't it Katie?" and that right there kicked off the next seven years of Brian having conversations with his dog. We brought her home and had to to the daunting task of a. introducing her to another dog and b. living with the two dogs while they try to figure out who's the top and who's the bottom. When we brought Katie out to the deck, Katie literally cowered to the floor and kinda sat there tail between her legs ( the tail remained between her legs for about the first 2 years she lived here. Most likely due to being raped her whole life and she was covering that no-no whole anyway she could) She moved around on the deck a little tail between her legs while Barkley the retard sniffed, jumped, pawed, licked, did anything he could to get his new, ahem, playmate to react. She looked kinda like a turtle and was showing no signs of coming out. That damn dog pestered here and pestered her and eventually, she snapped, and she lunged, and bark growled, and all of us peed a little cause good god was that ever scary, but who it scared the most was Barkley who was like "OK, OK, we cool, calm down little mama".

Eventually the two became BFF's and Katie settled in. She was very much Brian's girl and I was her second choice. The kids? The kids she knew, were children. And being a wise old mother herself many times over, she showed them patience, she showed them protection, ( people would start roughhousing with either Barkley or the kids and I would have to say "you don't want to do that, seriously, you need to stop, no I mean it" and then she would lunge and they would shit their pants and i would say " I kinda tried to tell you" She would never bite, just lunge at you and scare you a little.....I always wondered what would happen if an real bad guy ever got in, what she would have done to him) and she put up with them. They would dress her up and, I bet when I wasn't looking, probably tried to ride her now and then.

Last year, around October, I started to think we were getting close. Brian laughed, "DID you hear that Katie? Mommy is so silly....go get em Katie" and she would.....she would lumber off with Lucy, trying to keep up, trying to get those ever allusive damn squirrels, big soft floppy ears flapping. Lucy would race back and forth for 30 minutes, Katie would race once, decide " yeah, not so much", and then lay down in the grass, roll her big self on her back and look over at her family which always killed us. You see upside down, when all those jowls were hanging upside down, she appeared to be smiling the biggest damn smile, she looked like The Joker, like she was grinning from ear to ear. And the second best part of that was that she felt safe enough to roll over and show her belly.....that my friend, took about 4 or 5 years to happen, and when it did....so totally worth it. Anyhoo, for about the past 10-11 months, she has slowly declined. Watching a massive animal like that try to get up and down can be painful. She slept more and more, getting up and down the stairs wasn't pretty, just generally slowed way way down.

When we got Katie, she was "between 3 and 5 years old". We of course didn't know as she was dumped, but by looking at her teeth, this was their best guess. We have had Katie for 7 years this month, this making her somewhere between 10 and 12. If you Google how long do Mastiff's live, you get this:

"As you may already suspect, giant breeds as a rule do not live as long as smaller dogs. Some Mastiffs will live to be twelve or thirteen years of age- but by far the majority of Mastiffs do not live past ten years of age. Many will only live to be seven to ten years old.

The past week or so, she went down hill fast. Real fast. She quit eating around Tuesday and quit getting up about that same time. She would get up to go to the bathroom ( and didn't make it about 75 % of the time....thank you hardwoods) Wednesday was the last time I saw her drink any water, but Brian said she drank Friday morning. Thursday night she needed to be carried to bed and Friday when I got up with her, she was just laying there motionless with black ooze coming out her behind. She didn't even know she was poopin'. It was then I knew. I called B and he agreed which scared me because it made it real. I called the vet to ask about details and that is when I started to cry, and not just like tears....like unable to speak, which is great when you are calling a place of business trying to get you know, information. It was not good. I then called my mommy who, is so funny, I was all crying and couldn't get the words out and she said " What? What? WHAT?? OK, I'll be right there!!!" which made me laugh because now that I have a child I get it. It doesn't matter that she didn't know what I was trying to say, or what we had to do....you just automatically say I'LL BE RIGHT THERE !! when you hear your child crying, even if your child is pushing 40....you'll just BE RIGHT THERE forever.

So the appointment was made for 4:45. The kids and I took turns lying with her all day, sobbing into her fur, whispering all of their I Love You's, and Thank You's, and I Will Miss You's. It was sad, but everyone knew it was right. Keeping her alive would have been selfish. Brian left work and we drover her over together, him picking her up to put her in the car, picking her up to get her out of the car, and picking her up again to get her off the vets waiting room floor and into her room. The vet looked her over, and yes, yes, it is time, what a good life she has had. All this time she stood, her head in Brian's hands staring right into his eyes. My mom said she would look at us and we would be able to tell, she would be saying thank you. Finally, thank you. but she didn't look that way at all. She was staring at Brian like " I don't know what we are doing her dad, but I trust you and I will do what ever you want" She never took her eyes off of him.

The first shot was to relax her....the vet said she would relax and lay down. The shot went in, and she stood there, not even flinching, head in Brian's hands staring. And she stood. And stood. And stood some more. I was like God damn that is just like her, stubborn thing. Vet came in...."Not feeling it yet huh?" Nope, not our Katie. But eventually she did, her labored breathing relaxed and I swear she was like "OMG yes, where has THIS feeling been all my life". She layed her self down, and rested and breathed easy for the first time in a week. They then shaved her arm, found a vein, popped in the second needle, and we waited, 10 seconds was about all it took, and she was gone. Peaceful as could be. I won't get into the tears, the heartache because we all know it's was there.

The drive to the vet was in complete silence, neither of us could speak because what is there to say when you are off to kill one of your own. The drive back was back started the same way. Neither of could speak. Eventually I said to Brian " Lot less dog food".

He replied " Less dog poop"

me "less dog hair"

Him " Lot more sleeping through the night"

me "Our house won't stink"

silence

me " No more "WOO-WOOOOOOOO's"

silence

When we got home, we started to clean things up, mostly Katie's sleeping area which was utterly gross. She wasn't a very clean dog, lets just say and baths did little to help. We threw her bed out, cleaned the walls ( trust me if, unless you have lived with a slobber dog you don't know what I am talking about) cleaned the floors, swept and swept and wept ( typo but I am leaving it) and swept some more. I will be sweeping Katie hair for many more weeks. Cleaning to help with the healing.

This morning I woke up to rain. It hasn't rain-rained in weeks. Katie is making it rain to help clean out the backyard, wash away all the mess she left behind, all of the diarrhea for the past week, getting rid of her peeps so that Lucy isn't reminded of the BFF she just lost, she is washing everything clean back there, and we are doing the same inside. Living with a 114 pound dying animal isn't a tidy event. There are a lot of messes to clean up, both before she died, and now after. Including two little broken heart who are learning about love and loss.

People keep asking if I will get another dog. I am not a fan of having one. Dogs are social animals. Dogs need to be with a pack. And sometimes the pack goes out to dinner, and guess what? You my friend are left home alone. When Barkley died, I lasted a week and I needed to get another dog, Katie and I needed to get another dog. But when Barkley died, the loss was different. Barkley was a loud social, tail wagging, greeting you at the door, knocking over the Christmas tree kinda dog. When Barkely left, the house was silent. Katie wasn't that kind of dog, she was big, but she was quiet, she slept most of the time, she didn't want to play fetch, or go for a walk, or wrestle on the floor. Katie was like Brian, only a dog. She wanted to sit back, observe, relax. She is gone, we are sad, but the house, the noise, the energy while different, isn't deafening different. We still have Lucy, and all of her wannagoforawalkwannagoforawalkwannagoforawalk energy. Brian says we will wait at least a month. Me? i am not even thinking about it yet.

When I googled that question about Mastiff's here are some other questions I found.....

Do Mastiffs Make Good House Dogs?

Mastiffs are wonderful house dogs whose only desire is to lie at their master's feet and to be loved. They are sometimes called 'velcro dogs' because of their tendency to follow their owner from room to room to be with them at all times. On the 'down side', a Mastiff takes up a lot of space on the floor, and their tail can clear a table of knick-knacks in the blink of an eye.

Are Mastiffs Good with Kids?

Mastiffs are often called 'Gentle Giants' because their normal demeanor is dependable, loyal, caring and docile. However, like any breed, if a Mastiff has been teased or frightened by children they may grow up to distrust and avoid them. Most Mastiffs who have been raised with children are patient, gentle and loving with them.

What About Drool?

Yes, Mastiffs do drool, mostly after eating, drinking, or exercise. Many Mastiff owners water their dogs outdoors, replacing their water several times a day to keep it fresh. However, drool still does happen. If you are not willing to wipe up some 'slingers' from your walls now and then, or carry a 'drool towel' with you, maybe a Mastiff isn't the right breed for you.

Are Mastiffs Active Dogs Or Are they Lazy?

Both! Some Mastiffs are athletic and playful and others are too dignified to lower themselves to chasing a ball or stick. Many Mastiffs will 'fetch' and enjoy playing with other dogs or their owners, for long stretches of time. Others would prefer to lie on the couch and watch agility trials on Animal Planet

Maybe I reconnect with the Mastiff Rescue folks......

Whyz I luvz him

2009-08-22T08:13:00.000-07:00

Last week we were low on groceries, and even lower on cash.....Thursday night I said to my darling Brian "There isn't anything good in there. How about frozen pizzas ?! Again."

Brian pshawed me, asked me to step aside, and 30 minutes later called the family to dinner. Brian had created "Make Your Own Bento Night".....two types of chicken, peanut chicken or regular, rice, two types of fresh cabbage, green onions, sauteed spinach with garlic, shredded carrots, roasted red peppers. It was phenomenal.

We leave for the beach tomorrow. The kids, Jack especially, is beside himself with excitement. We hit Powells yesterday where he picked up 5 books on greek Mythology. He is especially excited to delve into Homer's The Odyssey. WTF I did to deserve a child like Jack is beyond me......

While down at the beach we will do all the back to school shopping. This has been our tradition for many, many years. Dagny has worked hard all summer to save up her funds and she is excited to spend them all. The trick is buying just the right pieces and praying no one else buys the same thing, because apparently in 7th grade this is a fate worse than death and you can never ever wear that particular piece of clothing again. Ever. Ever.

It is 8:25 which is the exact time school will be starting in a few weeks. At 8:25, currently both children are sacked out unconscious. This will not be helpful or good come September 8th.

2009-07-23T23:43:00.000-07:00

wtf is David Letteman doing on? ISn't it like 9:00?

2009-07-23T08:15:00.000-07:00

How the hell can it be Thursday already?

Thursday means Brian and I really only have tonight left. Friday we will have to go to bed at a reasonable hour cause we have to hit the road Bright and Early to drive up and get the chillin's. Pick up is between 10:00 and 11:30, however this year we know that people arrive about an hour earlier than that because of the God forsaken line of cars one must wait in to actually get into the camp. Which means your babies sit there for what seems like an enternity waiting to see their parents and it looks like mom and dad completely forgot to come and get them. Dagny asked us to PLEASE not be the LAST people to pick up their kids this year.

So this year we know to arrive early, we will probably need to get there around 9:00, which means we need to leave town around 8:00, which means we need to get up around 7:00, which hasn't happened in a week, which means momma needs to figure out how to go back to falling asleep at a reasonable hour. Good Luck with that.

I went over to a new mom's house last night ( new meaning I have only known her for a year) and had the most wonderful evening on her back porch with her and her husband. They are quiet simply, two of The Nicest People I have met in a very, very long time. I can not think of another couple I know who are that nice. They ooze niceness, and kindness, and the two of them together are simply delightful. They are a true breath of fresh air. Dagny and their son have become BFF's and so it is wonderful to get to know his parents, and to like them as much as I do.

So only about 48 hours left to savour. 48 quiet peaceful hours.

2009-07-22T17:05:00.000-07:00

I need to be getting ready to go to Leslee's for wine, but I am not....I am sitting here checking my STOOPID farm to see if I need to "harvest" anything. Do they make that shit specifically for people like me? People they know who have children away at camp, and a lot of free time on their hands? They must. I won't have any make-up on, but by god my fake non-existant flowers are watered. Phew.

2009-07-21T09:49:00.000-07:00

So the babies are gone again for seven long days. Last year I just about had a nervous breakdown while they were at camp. I couldn't STAND not knowing how they were doing. Every day I all but accosted our Mail Woman waiting for SOME sign of how they were, if they were happy or not, if Jack was miserable up there all alone. But none came. I wandered around aimlessly throughout the day, completely fucking lost. Night were good. Brian and I spent them going out, staying in, having crazy monkey sex like we did when we were 23. But still, I missed them. They have, of course, spent the night away before, but usually there was like, a PHONE, were I could at least hear them, have some communication with them, some reassurance. But a week at camp, you get nothing, nil, nada, zero. On about day 6 last year I did receive a card from Jack. Inside it read "Camping is hard" written backwards of course, so I needed to hold it up to a mirror and read it. It about broke me. The only thing that prevented me from driving up there and swooping him up was the fact that the next day was pick up day, and I knew he could make it one more night.

But that was last year.

This year, they have spent the ENTIRE year talking about camp, counting the months, weeks, days, hours until they could go. This year Jack is going with two of his buddies, and dagny is going with two of hers as well. This year I know that they are spending the week taking night hikes into the woods and camping under the stars. They are canoeing on lakes, playing on the shores of the Sandy, enjoying all you can eat of the most heavenly camp food created, enjoying their nightly campfires, partaking in wide games, swimming in the pool, taking their 7:00 AM polar plunges. They are weaving and looming, they are studying nature, they are making new BFF's that they continue to email all year long. Middle Schoolers have a dance, and this year dagny knows this, and knows to bring a beautiful dress to whip out for the evening. I know they are completely submerged in happiness, friendship, and sunshine. This year when Brian dropped Jack off, Jack's this-year-counselor noticed his Camp tshirt. He asked what year this one for him and Jack told him second.....he then said, "wait a minute, I remember you, I had you last year in my cabin" Jack looked up and couldn't believe it. He was so excited. They are in very very good hands.

Which leave me. Me with a week to do pretty much what ever I want. And man, is it EVER hard deciding how to spend one's day. So far today I have completed both the NY Times Crossword, as well as the Oregonian, eaten left over lemongrass chicken, taken a hot bath. And now what? Nap? Watch The View? Or one of the movies I have taped? Ride my bike to Michael's and pick up scrapbook stuff? Paint the ceiling? Yesterday Brian and I spent the day puttering. We drove out to the farm to buy more of the salsa I am addicted to, picked up a couple of plants for the bed beneath my kitchen window ( for some reason Lucy feels the need to dig up every damn thing I plant there) and went out to both lunch and dinner. We also napped a lot. All that relaxing is exhausting. As a matter of I am getting tired just thinking about it.....I may need to nap before I decide how to spend this day :)

2009-07-11T07:11:00.001-07:00

I don't know when I quit being a fighter.

Back when dagny was in Kindergarten, I was all political. I was fighting for dollars to be spent on public education, mainly Beaverton. I was part of the seed pod for her school, we met in kitchens, organized letter writing campaigns, licked stamps and wrote addresses by hand, organized the families to stand out front of the school holding signs, made cold calls to people in the district, etc. You name it.

And then I kinda quit fighting the fight.

And here we are years later, facing this recession and it is finally starting to hit Our School. Word on the street is we won't have Spanish next year. What is nice about Our School, and why many people choose to send their children there is, for middle school, our kids don't have to choose electives. They get them all. They get PE, they get Music ( they do have to choose between band and choir), they get art, they get Tech, and they get a language. They get it all. Until perhaps, this year. We may not have Spanish next year and this isn't fair. it isn't fair because somehow are Spanish teacher was on contract and contracts aren't being renewed. All of the red tape makes no sense to me, but somehow it isn't right. Luckily, we have a fabulous Squeaky Wheel and she is all up on our new principal. I saw her at the pool yesterday, told her the word on the street, and later that evening I was forwarded our Principal's reply to her letter stating that no, this is not an option. Our School isn't going to add "Study Hall" as an elective, because, please. C'mon, Study Hall? Oh, and if you want to know who voted which way on what measure in the House or Senate on any given day of the week., let me know. I can ask her and she will know :) I am glad SOMEONE is still fighting the fight. I hope our kids continue their Foreign Language Studies

This week Jack is off to Mac Camp and he is beyond excited. He has one day of Movie Camp and one day of Music Camp and you'd think he'd won the flipping lottery. He is chomping at the bit. He would make music and movies all day long if I'd let him. I have a feeling I will be fighting pretty hard for screen time when he gets home. Both dagny and I are working two days this week so we will have to coordinate driving.......I swore my kids would not get cars when they hit legal age, but I am starting to see the benefit of having your children be mobile. After all that is said and done, we are of to The Lodge for the night. How much money do those people spend on advertising? Jesus. Anyhoo, the kids have been BBBBBEEEEEEEGGGGGGIIIIINNNNNNGGGGG to go. Instead of begging, I told them " No one will let you go if you continue to beg....it sounds awful. Can't you come up with a Presentation on why you should go?" And the two of them were off. They created a three panel board complete with charts, graphs, statistics, etc. Jack put on his suit, Dagny put on A Dress! and they gave their spiel. They wowed the crowd and grandpa was won. I think the he was fianlly swayed when Dagny threw in "Pumpkin Pie" which was his name for her when she was little. So, we are off to The Lodge And yes, they serve cocktails......I already checked. Gramma and I will OK.

Looks like another day to be spent at the pool.....Off to pack our suits.

2009-07-10T10:00:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we ended up having a pretty good Field Trip Thursday....Grandma took us to lunch at Sushihana where Jack really overdid himself on strawberries, shrimp and creme puffs. I will give him credit for trying many of the items, in addition to the dim sum he ate for lunch on Wednesday, the boy is at least trying, and that is all we ask.

After lunch we drove Dagny to the bank to deposit the $80 she has earned from baby sitting children and dogs. She has two gigs next week so she is excited to make mo' money. Then we headed to the THPRD nature park and hiked for an hour. I thought this might kill grandma, but despite her whining, she persevered. Good Job Gramms. After hiking we went to open swim where I swam for about 30 minutes, and then realized my children wanted nothing to do with me. I swam laps for a while, begged them to play with me, and then got out, rejected, and went and read my book. Whatever Jerks.

Today will be a quiet day.....The kids did their hour of swimming while Em and I walked a couple of miles. I will shower, pick up the house, and hit the nickle arcade. Tonight we are off to Alpenrose to watch our favorite little softball player whoop ass. Hopefully we won't be home too late so mah babies can get to bed at a decent hour.

Not sure what we will do this weekend. Jack has drums, Jen's party was moved to August so we have Sunday free.....maybe a hike in the Gorge is in order? The children leave next weekend so we need to soak up as much family-ness as we can get this weekend :)

Oh Good

2009-07-09T18:08:00.001-07:00

Dagny is walking around with a bandana tied around her head pretending to be blind. This is a REALLY fun game. Jesus.

2009-07-09T08:50:00.000-07:00

All is well at Chez Silly.....summer is flying by.

I made a master list of school supplies needed by my children for next year and Good God is it ever long. It is an entire length of a sheet of paper, and that is w/o any doubles. Many items they need 4 or 5 of, like glue, pencils etc. This year there are items such as copy paper. I know at the end of the year, we were out and the district wasn't buying anymore. Things were coming home with stuff on the back, teachers were using the paper twice. Amazing how thrifty we become when we have to. I was talking to a girlfriend yesterday and we were discussing whether or not we would continue to be as thrifty when recession is over, or will we go back to our wasteful ways. We shall see.

The kids have had a pretty uneventful summer so far, and that is OK with them. Maybe not uneventful, but a summer spent close to home. They are now both on swim team which meets three times a week. It has been extremely helpful in that it gets them up early so we haven't lost much of our routine. They are also so much happier getting hard exercise on a regular basis. They come out of there exhausted but calm. While they swim, my girlfriend and I walk a couple of miles, so it is a win win situation.

Jack is drumming his heart out. Both Brian and I are amazed at how far he has come in such a short time. And of course the neighbors are really, really excited about the drum set in the garage. I told one neighbor we got it to pay her back for the years of suffering we have endured through her boys in their teens and 20's. She thinks I am purdy funny.

The weather has been overcast lately which is really, really OK by me. I can not stand the heat and become extremely grumpy and pissed off when it gets over 80. Today is field trip day and I am not sure where we will head off to. I have had my trips planned in advance, but this week snuck up on me. I did this thinking I would be working 2-3 days a week, but I am only averaging about one, so we sort of go on field trips all the time. Not sure what today will hold.....

2009-06-25T07:24:00.001-07:00

It's weird being at this point with my daughter.

She is rapidly changing before my eyes.

Rapidly. Quickly. Daily.

It feels slippery. Where is she going? Why can't I hold on to her? Where is that little girl going? Why can't I catch a grasp?

For years we have toddled, see-sawed, back and forth between little girl and big girl. The big girl was always balanced by the little girl. I saw glimmers of the the big girl, but the little girl was always there, comforting me, reassuring me that my baby was still safe at home. But the little girl isn't there anymore....I don't know where she went, and I miss her. I wish she would come back and play with me. I want to play Baby Bop and Lion King for minute or two.

This is the first time I have missed her. As we have transitioned through stages, I have welcomed the new with open arms. Whenever we see children of X, Y, or Z stage, my mother says to me "OH Silly, don't you miss that? Don't you miss having a newborn, toddler, preschooler, kindergartner?" and I say No. No I do not miss that. I stayed home and swallowed every single second and snuggle of both of my children's existence. I did not miss a beat, a milestone, a doctor's appointment, a gymnastics class, a shitty diaper. I was there for it all, loved it all, moved through it all just fine. I had a tough time went Dagny started 1st grade, and Jack graduated preschool, but other than those two moments, I have transitioned just fine.

Except now. And it isn't so much that I want the little girl back...it is that I am dreading what not lies ahead, but what I am actually wading through. I don't want to be here. I don't want to deal with not only the emotional roller coaster of my own daughter, but the additional bullshit and weight from all her friends, peers, external influences. "They say" that middle school is "the worst", and perhaps it is. I don't know.

Yesterday I was watching her at life guarding class. it is a group of about 8. They were being taught the proper way to jump into the pool with the red float-y thing. Dagny was going first, she put the thing on, and did something wrong, like forgot to hold the strap or something, the teacher corrected her, and the girl behind her kind of giggled and made some attempt at a joke. Dagny slowly turned around and looked at her with a look I have never seen before......it said something along the lines of "What The Fuck Did You Just Say, You P.O.S. ?" . The girl instantly cowered, blushed, stammered, looked away. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.....the girl who was Sweet and Kind to Everyone. The girl who has been walked all over one day and willing to be best friends the next, the girl who would defend anyone else but could never stand up for herself, the girl who never wants to make anyone mad, or hurt anyone's feelings, that girl turned around and pretty much said you need to shut the fuck up right now.....or else.

And I couldn't decide if I was mortified, in disbelief, completely overjoyed that she had finally for the first time stood up to someone, or scared of her. OK, not actually scared from a mother's standpoint, but scared because if I was that girl, and all 5'10 inches of Dagny turned around and looked at me like that? I would have stfu asap. And not come back to class.

So that girl....that little girl.....the girl who came home sick from school because the other girls wouldn't let her play that day because she was wearing clogs, the same clogs she wore every day and got to play, but not today. Why momma? Why can't I play today? And we would talk about some people are mean, and we would pull out The Book ( her son is coming to RH's for middle school next year....I am so excited. I am such a stalker/fan....I hope I don't attack her at PTO) and we would read the book and I would be sad for my daughter and convinced she was going to end up a hunched over little sad sack of a girl who couldn't defend herself and I would call my friends and lament and cry about why? why Dagny Go-Go? Why can't she grow a pair? She is definitely not MY daughter. I would have bitch slapped those girls. But when I think about it, I didn't grow my pair until about high school. So I guess she has me beat.....again.

My bright spots.....

* She is an athlete. She plays ball for the High School in 6th grade. She is at camp this week and I watch her in there interacting with all of those girls, and she is no longer nervous, or ackward, or shy. She is realizing she is tall, she is realizing you can't teach tall. She is owning that height. Her role models are the high school girls, some of then have 6 inches on her, and those girls walk in big, and tall, and strong, and breathtakingly gorgeous. And she gets it.....she sees what she could be, she's getting it. She isn't the stand out.....she is what they are looking for. Just by being.

She started swimming again and I have forgotten how remarkable she moves in the water.....Being tall and growing quickly means having to constantly try to keep up with those arms, legs, hands and feet. Just when she manages to get down walking into a room without tripping, she grows another 2 inches and we start over. But being in the water where she isn't bogged down by gravity and size 10 feet , the girl glides like nobody's business. I forgot what it was like to watch her swim. She will start back up with swim team which is great except for the whole chlorine hair yuckiness.

* Her grades- She is no straight A student, but by God, she is determined. She is driven to do well. She wants good grades. By default, all of her girlfriends are smart, reaaallllly smart. This makes good grades very, very important in her peer group. She works very hard to get the grades she gets. She has good work ethic and excellent homework skills. How do I keep up the motivation? Not sure. but we will try.

* Her confidence. She might trip when she walks into that room, but by God, she stands right up, gives a great Ta-Da!, laughs and moves on. If we can maintain that confidence through sports, grades, peer relationships, we should be OK? Right? Right Universe? *tap tap tap* "Is this thing on?

I feel like we are actually in the making of a person....this is it. The next 4 years are crucial. Make mistakes, but not big ones, ones we learn from. Don't date That Guy. Date the one over here. Don't get drunk and pass out a party. Don't drive with that guy who is completely wasted. Don't send that email....the one that is going to get forwarded on. Please don't start sexting. Don't drop out of high school, and PLEASE don't get pregnant. Don't, Don't, Don't.......Just keep on doing what you are doing. Stay on this path.

Jesus this parenting shit is hard.

2009-06-12T07:29:00.001-07:00

I am kissing goodbye my 4th and 6th grader.

Yesterday in Jack's class they went around to each student, and the other students gave appreciations. Jack's were.....he is really funny, he is an excellent/weird artist, and my favorite " You always know when Jack is absent because it's quiet.....no one is laughing."

Do you know how much I heart him?

end of year is near

2009-06-09T07:58:00.001-07:00

We are getting ready to wrap up yet another school year. 7th and 5th grade is a few months away. I have vowed....VOWED that next year I will devote myself to Jack's classroom/school year like I did when Dagny was getting ready to head up to middle school, making sure I am at every party planning committee, helping/doing yearbook, every field trip, etc. I SUCK when it comes to playing fair with my two kids. Dagny gets the lion's share of attention, help, classes, tutoring, attention....you name it. This year I had lunch catered to the entire middle school staff for teacher appreciation week. At about 4:00, my friend called to ask how Jack liked his teacher's party. And my stomach dropped. Guess why? I didn't even think, for one tiny, eensy, weensy, SECOND about Jack's teacher. I didn't even pop my head in the door of his party, I didn't send a gift, a card, NOTHING. I completely forgot Jack even existed, much less had the most amazing teacher for a year. Jesus. I suck so bad, it isn't even funny. I will definitely make up for it with Mr. R's end of year gift.

Let's see, what else.....

We have a pretty easy summer lined up. Both kids will do Namanu for a week, and Jack's doing summer splash which meets at 8:00, yes I said 8:00 AM, three days a week. He could have taken it at the Beav. High pool later in the day, but he wanted to get his "work out in early" and he also wanted to stay in the comfort of his home pool. This is fine by me, I am up at 6:00 every day, and I just have to drop him off. I don't know if I will let him compete or not. At this point I just want to get his endurance up. He is also playing on a lacrosse scrimmage team once a week which he is most excited about. We will see how long that enthusiasm lasts. Dagny has a weekly babysitting gig, volleyball once a week and that's about it. We have a couple of trips planned with friends, and my mom and I will head to the coast at the end of August. We have a weekly picnic date set, where we will travel to various parks exploring our local habitat. I am excited to spend 2 1/2 months with ma' babies just taking it easy. SO, so nice to take it down a notch.

Field day yesterday was great. I have to say what strikes me most about RH's middle schoolers is how perfectly well behaved, and comfortable they are talking to and being around adults. I know many MS'er since my daughter is one, and my God, half of them think you are the stoopidest person on earth, the other half of them can't even look you in the eye. They are shifty, awkward, bored, etc. But having them maintain constant relationships with a huge number of adults in such a small setting where the adults really have a vested interest in them, speaks volumes. Every child I handed a Popsicle to said please and thank you. They even thanked us for coming and helping with field day. There are weird ones in that group, but even the weird ones don't have that depressed sadness about them that I see in alot of kids this age that don't fit in. It seems so obvious to me and I think, don't their parents see it?

We had a "debriefing" meeting after field day to discus what worked well this year, what do we need to work on for next year....we had an 8th grade parent come and share her perspective on what she would have done better, and what we can do to improve the school for next year. The fact that I am still so tightly connected to the children's school and community means the world to me. It really, really does. Some of our friends went on to our traditional middle school, as well as some of the other options schools in our district, and they all say the same thing.....middle school changes things. Middle school is different. Our middle school is separate from our elementary school, but it isn't really all that different. Which I just am loving. I am loving the Americana feel of this back to basic approach. I am loving my daughter acts 12, not 16. I am just so, so grateful for how well things are going because man, I have seen some pretty sad kids and families. *Knocks on wood*

Speaking of field day, Jack lost his field day, because he is an asshole. He made fun of another student, the student reported it, and he was given a referral. Apparently the Principal announced that anyone getting referral the week of field day would not be allowed to participate. I was completely irate, as I thought the punishment did not fit the crime, and I was pretty vocal about it. But whatevah, he did the crime, he did the time ( 2 hours in an 8th grade classroom....if that's not enough to bore/punish a 4th grader, I don't know what is) and then I bought him a yo-yo, cause that was the only prize he reaaaaallly wanted from field day. Damn if I am going to let him lose field day AND a yo-yo all in one day.

OK..... off to work I go. It is a beautiful sunny day which means I will most likely get killed today at work, as everyone wants to sit outside. Wish me luck.

4 day weekends

2009-05-23T10:22:00.000-07:00

are really really good.

I had to work yesterday so my mom took Jack for the night and he spent the day with grammie which he always adores. Any chance he can get to be an only child, he grabs it. She took him swimming and then over to her girlfriend's house to look at/talk about skateboards. Next thing I knew, Jack shows up at my work with a tricked out $165 bad boy from here and now he is a skating all over the place.

We went to the T's house last night and enjoyed hanging out in the backyard while the kids bounced on the trampoline and ran wild around their house. I initially was not going to go as I could feel this horrible pain in my chest which I knew was the beginning of something awful, and sure enough, I woke up today sounding like a 2 pack a day smoker with the cough to match. And this shit hurts. I have managed to get up, make breakfast, clean the kitchen, and now I am back in bed, trying not to move because every time I do, I cough, and the cough? the cough burns.

Off to play pogo.....

All finished

2009-05-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

Time for a curtain call.

We wrapped up the show yesterday at 10:00 am after giving a brief viewing for the school. They did the bar scene, Be Our Guest, Beauty and the Beast and one or two others....apparently some of the younger kids were crying, we didn't think that through too well. After Friday's performance all the kids' headed to DQ which is the tradition. I didn't go, Dagny went with a group of friends and I met my family for dinner. After Saturday's performance all the kids went to Isabel's for the cast party . Again, I didn't go. She said I was welcome to stay and I know she meant it, but I also know she likes hanging out with her friends without her pesky mother hanging around. Many of the kids, my daughter included, are pretty depressed the show is over. The spent 10 weeks together bonding and working their tails off to make this show work. To see it all come to an end saddens them, especially the 8th graders who know this is their final production at RH's. Saturday a large group of last year's 8th grade class all came together to watch the show. It was so sweet seeing them all come back and support the school, the kids, high five them. I remember leaving middle school a bit jaded and "glad to be gone", kids don't feel that way about this school. This incredibly wonderful fabulous school.

Here are some photos of her in rehearsal. I can't show you the real ones because apparently Disney will hunt me down and kill me....

We went to Dagny's voice recital on Sunday. As I looked over the program, I noticed "Beauty and the Beast" was not on the list. I asked her why and she told me " I didn't submit it". I wanted to shout at her "THEN WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING IN A CHURCH ON A BEAUTIFUL SUNDAY 75 DEGREE AFTERNOON WHERE I AM ABOUT TO SUFFER THROUGH AN HOUR OF PIANO PLAYING AND OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN SINGING FOR????" But I didn't, cause I am good like that. Instead I asked her how come and she said " I don't EVER want to sing that song again".

Dagny got the email requesting her presence on the 6/7th grade basketball summer team, which is an honor. She is not thrilled however. I have tried to explain to her that just because she is sad the play is over, doesn't mean she can be "mad at basketball". What's weird is, she is now the 7th, in the 6/7 th grade team......I looked at the list of 10 girls trying to figure out who the 7th graders were and was stumped when I couldn't find any. Then it dawned on my dumb ass....I have a 7th grader this summer. W.T.F?

Maybe I should rename this blog " All About Dagny"

Mother's Day 09

2009-05-10T11:08:00.000-07:00

I just went back and read the past four years worth of Mother's Day entries. It reminded me of why I started blogging in the first place. OMG, my children are so funny.

It is now around 11:00 am and I am still in bed. I have gotten up long enough to take a hot bath and wash my hair. And then I climbed right back into bed. The kids on the other hand have been BU-SY. They have gone grocery shopping for dinner tonight, started the bread pudding with daddy, arranged my flowers and picked up the house. Now one is outside shooting hoops ( guess which one) and the other is playing something on the Wii ( again, go ahead and guess which one)

We have had a very busy weekend so today is a day of rest which is nice. Friday night we had our first, oh how do I phrase it? Our first sort of "run in with staying out too late and not being able to track dagny down" night. And my husband? My husband lost his shit. The party ended at 8:30 which would have her back home around 8:45, 9:00 at the very latest. Around 10:30 she pulls in and OMG, I thought my husband was going to have a coronary. It was all due to a lack of communication, she was fine, the dad who picked her them up took them to ice cream etc. But OMG that hour was one of the longest I have experienced in a long time. It gave me just a glimmer of what could be to come, and a large view of the monster my husband could potentially become.....not pretty.

Yesterday Dagny had rehearsal from 9-12, then rehearsal for her voice recital from 2-4, she had a hair appointment in NW at 5 and then my mom took her out to dinner. So once again, she was gone from 8:00 until 8:00 and once again we spent the day dagny-less. Next week rehearsals are after school from 3-7. I am hoping to get to see her sometime in the middle of May.

The year is winding down and summer is gearing up. I have enrolled the kids in a few classes/camps, and they will spend another week at Namanu which both can hardly wait for. We didn't sign up for the pool this year for the first time in 6 years. We didn't use it last year and it was a big waste of $350. This year we will get passes to the RP pool and the WIlson pool and spend time between those two locations. Jack really wants to try water polo so may give that a shot over the summer to see if her likes it. Having a flexible work schedule is so nice :)

This week I am off on a field trip with Jack's class to the Oregon Historical Museum which believe it or not, I have never been to....should be interesting . Oh, and we get to take Tri-Met for or transportation. I hope I don't lose anyone.

Tonight....

2009-05-06T19:57:00.000-07:00

I said goodbye to my youngest cousin. He is shipping off to Iraq.

There are two male offspring in our entire clan, Alex and Jack. Now one is off to war. W.T.F.

Another weekend come and gone

2009-05-04T08:02:00.000-07:00

Here it is Monday again. Monday's for me are all about cleaning organizing, and getting ready for the week ahead. I actually do most of the work on Sunday, the menu planning, the grocery list which I hand to my husband who goes off to hunt and gather the food. We have dinner early on Sunday if possible, Brian and I are in bed by 7 or 7:30, the kids climb into after the baths and we watch TV together. It is the best way to spend Sunday evening, and I am sure it is the way most of us do.

But I love Mondays. Mondays I get them out the door, and I have quiet. It is time to do Ali the stuff I can't do with big little children around....change sheets, do laundry, put away laundry, scrub toilets, wash floors, get dinner started, answer emails that required more than two sentences. Get everything in order. Cause with two kids growing up too fast and two parents working, it takes a lot of organizational skills.

Things around here have been pretty good lately. Brian and I are very much in some crazy honeymoon-ey phase where all we do is giggle and snuggle and hold hands. Funny how marriages work like that....the times you have your heads down in the trenches , side by side, just trying to get through it al, and the times where despite everything else that is happening around you, all you see is each other. The kids are just growing and growing and I last week I had a bit of a panic attack regarding how little time I truly have left with them. Dagny is nearly 12 1/2 which gives me about 5 1/2 years really left until she is hopefully, off to college. Our first year of middle school is wrapping up and we made it through completely unscathed. She is this incredible, beautiful, confident, crazy young woman who doesn't have a shadow of self doubt. I have waited for years for the lack of self esteem to kick in, perhaps some kids never get it? They just blow through life and all it doles out without batting an eye.

Jack is my puzzle right now. He is seems to have no passion for anything other than reading. He is still swimming twice a week and likes that alright, but other than that he kind of wants to try everything. Which would be great if we could afford to sign him up for everything. We can't, and he really needs to decide what he wants. I look ahead to middle school options for him and I am completely stumped as to which route to take. Alot of it is out of my control as most programs are lotteries. I just am so confused as to which way to go.......I feel like I am shaping the rest of his life, which I guess I am, by choosing which middle school/ high school route to take.

The middle school play which has taken over our life, is almost coming to an end. Next week are the three performances and the kids have worked so incredibly hard. Dagny is amazing, and I wish I was saying that because she's my daughter. She really is a wonderful actress/singer. HTH she can get up there and do that without an ounce of nerves is beyond her father and I . It will be over next week and the kids have a huge cast party all lined up at one of the families homes. it will be a great way for them to end their run.

Last night Dagny received an email from a friend. The friend had sent out a "take my quiz" to a bunch of people, including The Mean Girl who thankfully has left and gone on to a different school to destroy other people;s lives. She replied with an email that said " I dont wanna take your friken quiz,now stop sending me this shit. " aren't middle school girls sweet? Gosh we miss her. Have I mentioned about a million times how happy I am they we aren't going to school there? I mean have I ?

To bore you further, here is our weekly menu....

Sunday- Pork Tenderloin with Marsala cream sauce, rosemary roasted red potatoes, slow cooker apples
Monday- Fish Tacos, rice and beans
Tuesday- Souvalki , tabouli salad
Wednesday- Out for Alex's deployment party
Thursday- French dips with garlic aioli and melted Havarti, steak fries
Friday- pizza

Peace out

another weekly update.....

2009-04-17T10:35:00.000-07:00

Not much has happened this week other than the usual living....

Dagny has a very busy schedule two days a week which leaves her gone from about 7:30 am until 9:00 PM. She is home for an hour for dinner, but that is all we see of her. Her middle school is working so hard on their production of Beauty and the Beast, working after school and weekends. All of the parents are equally as involved and busy doing costumes, set designs, snacks, etc. It is an amazing group of people. I am reminded just about daily of how fortunate we are to have so many options for middle school in our district, and that we found a perfect fit for her. The teachers she encounters every day lift her up, fill her with excitement for learning, engage her. The fact that they I am able to talk to them daily about her and her progress is huge. The middle school disconnect does not happen here. I thank my stars about once a day that we have it so good.

Jack continues to have a phenomenal fourth grade year. He isn't as busy as Dagny, but never has been. He swims twice a week with his friend Henry, and that is plenty of organized sports for him. I am so GRATEFUL this time of year that my kids do not play baseball as I watch the demand that sport puts on families and just cringe. The try-outs, the practices, the weather, the hours of games where no one is even really playing a sport....just picking grass. Give me Jack running around outside until 8:00 with the neighbor kids all Spring long. I can't remember how many years we dedicated to softball/baseball....three I think. Three too many. Tongiht Jack is going to an after school basketball/pizza party with his teacher that he is so excited about. The kids' schedules are begining to get to the point where I can see myself forgetting to pick one up somewhere....a lot of overlap which is always dangerous.

I am very much looking forward to the weekend. It is supposed to be beautiful and sunny and lets hope that is true!!

So alot has happened...

2009-04-01T15:38:00.000-07:00

About two weeks ago I thought I was going to take another job. The job was farther away, longer hours, longer commute, kids home alone after school for about an hour. A whole lotta upheaval. But we decided for a certain $$ amount it would be in our best interest to take said job, I put in for the transfer, got approved, went out there last Thursday where I was offered $1.25 LESS an hour. $12 per hour was the MINIMUM I was willing to transfer for....$10.75? No way. So I asked my old store if they would keep me and they said yes.

This week however, I haven't had to wait tables, I am only working two days this week and I have never felt more happy and relaxed. Waiting tables is excruciating for me. It is enough to make me cry at work, and often does. I hate it. I worry about the next time I have to wait the whole time I am not at work. Being off this week has been pure joy. Being here when the kids get home, dinner made, house cleaned, laundry put away. etc etc.....I now really know why people for the past 12 years have told me I am so lucky to stay home with my kids. I wish I could just work 2-3 days a week doing something I like and enjoy and not be a complete freak day in and day out the rest of the time.

Spring Break was nice and very relaxing, we were more than ready to jump back into school, activities, etc. The middle school kids are putting on Beauty and The Beast and they have been hard at work after school, on their lunch breaks and even on their days off preparing for the production. Dagny plays Mrs. Potts which is a pretty big part with a lot of singing. She has been taking voice lessons with her friend Ben to get more prepared for her part. Jack is still swimming twice a week and wants to gold more. Problem is, he needs someone to take him and that can be a challenge. Maybe this weekend while Dagny is at play practice....

This weekend one of my BFF's turns 40 and we are renting a hotel room downtown and hitting the town. Her husband and I have a bet that she won't last long ( she's a lightweight) but that won't stop the rest of us ! Hopefully we can all behave and act our ages, but I am hoping not too much :)

OK, boring post.....off to put laundry away :)

watchya watchya watchya want?

2009-03-24T15:24:00.000-07:00

So hello NO ONE !!!!

Damn, it's been a while.

I made da blog private cause alot of people were reading it, which I didn't care, but I did cause it felt a little creepy, specially the ones that were reading without telling me. I mean I don't care if you read, but if you know me IRL, wouldn't you like, say something? Otherwise it's kinda like spying. No?

So we're back, and while I am not announcing it, if you figure it out, great. If not, that's ok too.

Spring Break round these parts. Jack has a week of golf camp and is enjoying that. Dagny's doing a whole lot of sitting on her butt eating Doritos and enjoying that as well. Which is find because the girl go-go-go's a and a week off is just what the doctor ordered. She has been invited to the beach, to Eugene, to a sleepover and said no to all of them. SHe just wants to sleep, eat, and play wii. Right now Grandma the Great has them at that Witch Mountain movie so they aren't sitting around bored all week. I think she took them to lunch as well after camp. SHe is a rockstar that gramma.

My dream last night. UGH. I hate having them. I have had them about Jack pretty much since he was born, and it makes me completely over-parent him and protective to the point of being a little crazy. Jack can not do half the stuff I would let Dagny to at the age of 10, I am psychotic. But the dreams, the dreams are so awful, and real and I wake up and I don't ever want to fall asleep again. I hurt all over and I think to myself if that ever happens, I would have to kill myself because I couldn't stand the pain. I just couldn't.

Ramble ramble, aren't you glad I am back.